God, please let me be in this competition

let me go to japan and try my luck in this event

please got

help me

:’)

i want this so bad

i will try my best, God

i wanna show my best :”)

please….

i think i have to write this thing first before i can go back to reality and continue my life. i need to write it down really in detail as i have it so attached to my mind.

so, yeaah.. i just got back from Vienna :D

awesome city, awesome people, overall it was a great experience.

but, there was one specific memory that i will never forget.

my first night out at the bar where i got drunk.

that night, UI team and UGM team decided to have fun together at Ost Club.

it was planned only for the guys and the party girl.

but i insisted to join them.

i wanna know and moreover, i trusted them

i believed that they are the people i can rely on in the situation

apalagi ada si angin

i wanna see him in his outer world.

so we went out at 1 o’clock

i was welcomed by a kamikaze shot followed by 2 vodka shots

kamikaze was cute

it was pink and it was a bit sour.

after that we went down to the dance floor and dance a bit.

there was nothing that i feel due to those 3 shots.

i could speak normally to the hijab girl

i was a bit confused

the party was not as crowded as it was expected by the guys

a bit garing to be exact

but as the time went by, the mood was escalated

i was happy to see the guys had fun while i was sitting and talk to the hijab girl

2 hours later, atsed asked me down and gave me another 2 shoots of vodka

it was my 5th shots, yet i could manage myself to talk and walk on my own

i watched the guys danced

1 hour later, atsed asked me down again and gave me another 2 shots of JD

that moment UI team was ready to go home

i could control my mind, yet i felt a bit nausea

regardless the nausea, i could walk normally and i could think pretty clearly

i thought it was normal for the nausea and i was so proud to know that i am a strong girl.

that moment, the guys asked me to down on the dance floor

i could not dance, you know me right?

but i saw angin

he was very enjoy the place

he danced and very happy, that scenery was worth for those shots.

half an hour later, they asked me to go home

i said okay, i could walk normally but i could not handle my coat and my 1 euro

atsed helped me with those things

the other guys said, lu sakit si… lu kagak ada pengaruhnya gini si

i just could smile and brag them all

hahhaha

they just did not know that i felt nausea inside

LOL

i then asked asted to take me to the bartender and make my record into 10 shots in a night.

other said, dont

yet he let me

he took me to the bartender and order 4 shots for 2 of us

so, yeah… i took 9 shots that night.

after that we went home, the way back home was fine

realized that i was okay, they dragged me to their room and asked me to finish the bayliss they had

bayliss is a sweet alcohol

tasted like coffee with a hint of alcohol

i took 2 glasses of it.

so did asted. he was literally FINE, but a bit lemas aja…

hehehee

before i took those shots i already told them that i dont know the place, i dont know the rule, i dont know the drinks and i believe you. if something happened just take me back home and put me in my room and they said yes.

as the other two guys already tepar, asted was the one that shall be responsible to myself. i asked him to take me to my room, and he said of course.

i could not remember the moment i left the room, everything was started to blur. but i could remind that asted walked me to the lift and hold my shoulders.

i could not remember anything, but i was pretty sure that i walked. when we reached the door, i tried to find my key, i couldn’t and there he goes, he picked my bag and found the key for me. as the nausea stroked me hard and i might looked limbung, he slowly put his arm around my waist and kissed me on my forehead.

i could feel it.

i could feel his lips in my forehead and his arms around my waist.

i was shock but i could not do anything. i let him to do so. i gave it as a present for being so nice to me all the time. i said bye and i went inside.

then, i planned to wash my hand and brushed my teeth, yet i just could not do so.

everything was going in a circle. that was a terrible headache.

i could not stand that moment and decided to out the bathroom, at least we had rug at the room. i was so scared.

i reached on my phone and texted him.

he asked me several questions, and then offered himself to pick me up at my room. after a 5 minutes texts.

i opened the door, when i saw his face standing in front of my door, i felt save. i, all of a sudden, ran into his arms and i think he also hugged me as well. i think he has an excellent cuddle.

we sat in front of my door several minutes as i could not stand. i did not know what happened.

he walked me to his room. suddenly, he asked me whether i wanna have stairs or elevator. arrogantly, i decided to have ladder instead. and i ended up by falling.

he caught me and, he directly asked me “mau digendong?”

i said, i much heavier than I looked

but i thought he could managed it well.

he put me on his bed and put the blanket over me. so sweet.

Here is my confession.

being treated nicely and responsibly by a man is what i have been dreaming.

and it was happened there.

i wanted to say thanks, but i just could not move my body and fell asleep instead.

at 8, i awakened by phone. my lecturer called me. i tried to move, and i did! :D

yet, i realized something asted was not beside me…

abang was beside me!! yeeeaaaay

kami udah satu tempat tidur! LOL

asted was ON THE FLOOR!!!!

i woke him up and as him to go on the bed :”)

conclusion:

God knows but awaits.

what happened to me was exactly to what i have been dreaming.

He set it up to me.

Wait for a right guy and wait until i am ready for it.

thank you God, for being so understanding :*

and i am waiting for all your miracles while i’m working to what i am capable of :)

love,

gita

we made in the other world

knowing you more

hanging out with you more

does not make me feel any closer

i thought that i already build the bridge that connect us

it’s otherwise

the differences and the distance are actually appear more clear than ever

:(

fuckyeahlawlife:

1. The incessant questioning (c/o the brilliant Socratic Method)

2. The non-verbal cues of disapproval, disappointment, and frustration from your professor

3. The seemingly endless days of recitations, exams, cases, and tons of readings

4. The wavering faith in yourself

5. But you deal with it anyway